AN utter dickhead has achieved the rare feat of being badly sunburnt in Britain in February.
Tom Booker of Margate is proudly sporting the earliest cherry-red forehead, nose and neck in a calendar year since records began.
He said: “I saw the sun was shining in a cloudless sky and thought, ‘Oi oi, I think I could do myself some serious damage here.’
“Began at 9am mowing the lawn, then I was in the beer garden at the King Edward at opening time, then I settled down in a deckchair in the back garden to sleep the afternoon away.
“I’m not saying it was easy – there’s a bloody nip in the air still – but I’m now sporting a proud Englishman’s sunburn all over. You should see my face. Like a heat lamp it is.
“I reckon I can do the same in November, if the weather keeps its end up. Sunburnt 10 months of the year without even living in Spain.”
Booker added: “Global warming? Don’t make me laugh. Load of bollocks, that is.”