Bangalore, Karnataka - June 14, 2024: In a scene straight out of an action movie (or perhaps a particularly chaotic Bollywood flick), Bangalore traffic police apprehended the notorious "Thar-zan," Mr. Bunty "Bulldozer" Singh, last Tuesday, June 4th, at approximately 2:30 PM.
Singh, a well-known figure in the city's Thar driver community, was pulled over for a laundry list of offenses, including:
- Excessive chrome: Constable Lakshmi, the arresting officer, described Singh's Thar as resembling a "disco ball on wheels," claiming the blinding glare posed a threat to other drivers.
- Window tint darker than a Bangalore power outage: When asked to roll down his windows, Singh reportedly declared, "These windows are specially treated to block out the haters, Constable-ji!" Constable Lakshmi countered that they also blocked out, you know, actual visibility.
- Misuse of a bullhorn: The pièce de résistance, according to Constable Lakshmi, was Singh's alleged attempt to initiate a drag race with a bemused BMTC bus driver using his vehicle's bullhorn. Thankfully, the bus driver chose passenger safety over the dubious glory of Thar-versus-bus combat.
Singh, infamous for his flamboyant courtroom theatrics, is reportedly preparing a vigorous defense. Sources close to the case claim he plans to reenact the traffic stop using a toy Thar and a miniature bus fashioned from leftover Diwali sweets, with sound effects provided by his confiscated (and hopefully silenced) bullhorn.
Judge Chandrashekhar, a seasoned veteran of Thar-related courtroom spectacles, is said to be bracing himself for yet another display of automotive-themed performance art. Stay tuned for further developments in this ongoing saga of rebel jeeps and beleaguered constables.